Jared’s body ached. His head pounded with the knowledge that he would never see her again. Adrenaline pushed him to the brink. He was going to jump. There was nothing left of him now. With a last breath, he leapt from the ledge of the building. Wind pushed against him slowing his descent. He cursed that wind. He wanted death and he wanted it quickly.
A strange light emanated around him. Studying his surroundings, he found himself in a room amongst gnarled and twisted faces. Their knot holes of eyes bore through him. “Where am I?” He asked. In unison, crippled and curled hands all pointed to the wall with the bloody window. Jared knew not what to make of the sight.
Then he saw a woman. It was her. Daniela staring inward through the bloody panes. Crying, she screamed for him. He tried to run to the window, but found himself chained to the spot at which he stood. He struggled to reach her. He screamed for her, but no voice left his lips. Pain seared his brain as he pulled against the chains.
He needed to see her. He needed to speak to her. He needed her.
After hours of seemingly endless struggle, Jared’s body became tired. Every scream that left Daniela’s lips caused him physical pain. It was torture. He was being tortured for his act.
She had died a natural death, but in taking his own life he was left to hear her screams for eternity. The one thing that caused him pain would be the only thing that he would hear until the end of time.
Jared laid down and stopped fighting. He listened for her voice moment after moment. His blood boiled with each note. He slowly realized that he had been consumed by her. That her existence had been the only thing that mattered and had he wanted to be with her again, patience would have served him best. Tears fell as he realized his mistake.
His body convulsed with sorrow and grief over their deaths and their il-lived lives. Her screams continued to pierce him as he lay on the ground shaking violently. Then, they stopped.
There was silence.
The bloody window where Daniela stood became clear and illuminated the room with butter-yellow sun. Her face entered the window, smiling. His pain left his body and serenity returned.
Jared awoke from his dream aware of the way he was living his life. He kissed Daniela’s picture on his bedside table and wearily started his day with the knowledge that everything would be ok…someday.
What are your concepts of heaven and hell? Do you think Jared would have been punished had he decided to take his own life?
© Tania Dakka and Chaotic Musing, 2011